The Tao Of Love

Let’s start from the beginning. Chapter one of the Tao Te Ching says
“Ever desire less, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one can see the manifestations.”
After reading the whole text, we can deduce that the Tao Te Ching doesn’t want to teach us anything, it only wants us to be true to ourselves, it works as a path to finding our own truth. When you want to learn, you focus too much on that specific thing. You are so focused on wanting to find the mystery, that you don’t see it. The same happens in love. (I’m talking about the type of passionate love you feel towards another human being.) Sometimes you’re so desperately in love with someone that you don’t see anyone else. You’re stuck in that love, trying to find your way out of it and you forget to look at other people, other possible loves. There’s a popular quotation that says ¨everything is blind to the eyes of love¨. So, basically, if you want to see the mystery, you’re blind. If you’re in love, you’re also blind. The way out of both of these is to not focus on learning, and not focus on loving but to focus simply on not focusing, just letting things happen.
I believe the most important thing you have to keep in mind when you’re in any kind of relationship is to have trust. When you enter a love relationship full of doubts, your partner will also start to lack trust. For example:
A woman is talking on the phone with her boyfriend.
Woman: Hi honey how was your day?
Man: hi, where are you?
Woman: In a restaurant.
Man: Why aren’t you in your house?
Woman: After work, some friends and I decided to go grab a bite, so I’ll be home late, I just wanted you to know just in case you went by my house.
Man: hmmm… with your friends? There’s something that doesn’t fit in.
The woman will sense the lack of trust and the next time, she’ll decide not to tell him where she’s going. After all,
¨He who does not trust enoughwill not be trusted.¨ (chap 23)
It may be hard to trust someone after you have been hurt. One thing I’ve learned is that making love the ONLY thing in your life is a big mistake. Love, especially at this age comes and goes. Breaking up is tough, but it’s even tougher when that your life was based on that relationship. You have to remember there are other things in life and that eventually, you’ll be able to move on.
¨High winds do not last all morning.Heavy rain does not last all day.¨ (chap. 23)
It’s not the last love, you will eventually snap out of it, just like the sun will eventually come out, a new love will eventually appear.
Even though Chapter forty-four is talking about not attaching to material things, it also fit in with love. It says,
¨He who is attached to things will suffer much.¨
In the love perspective, it would be:
¨He who is attached to one love only will suffer much.¨
As I said before, when you make love your number one priority, after it ends, you don’t have anything to rely on, therefore you keep thinking about love and make yourself more miserable.
People say that ¨everything is fair in love and war.¨
The Tao says:
¨A brave and passionate man will kill or be killed.
A brave and calm man will always preserve life.¨ (chap. 73)
When you start to manipulate a love situation, you are taking the risk of killing or being killed. Either way you are basically lying to yourself. If you want to be in a love relationship, it should be an honest one. Why on earth would you want to lie to the person you love? I think people manipulate situations when they’re scared. If you think that in order for a relationship to work you have to manipulate it, then maybe it’s not worth living. Just like chapter ten says,
¨Bearing, yet not possessing¨
Loving someone doesn’t mean taking complete control over his/her life. That would be too greedy. You should give the person you love some space to live and enjoy his/her life, trust him to be truthful and have your own life to live and enjoy.
Even though people say love doesn’t have limits, I think it does. In chapter forty-four it says:
¨ He who knows when to stop, does not find himself in trouble.¨
Love is a process. You can’t expect twelve year olds doing the same things twenty year olds are doing. Love has to be according to age and mature ness. You have to follow the process keeping in mind that what you will do can affect the rest of your life. I think the relationships that don’t work are because the two people in the relationship have different priorities. When you are with someone you should make sure both of you feel the same, both of you want the same and both of you accept the other just the way he/she is.
The Tao Te Ching talks about many aspects of life. It doesn’t teach. It opens the door to the lesson that has always been within us. Just like the Tao, the answer to love will always been inside us. From here derives the saying ¨follow your heart¨. Being true to yourself and following your instinct is the key to living. Love doesn’t have a specific meaning, it leaves a great space for interpretation, just like the Tao. Yet, both are two of the most controversial mysteries that man has ever known.

The Tao Of Go

The game of Go is made up of logic and wisdom. Not like every, game, in Go you can't attack your opponent directly because that will get you in a bad situation in which your opponent will kill you. Just like in the Tao Te Ching, in order to say the waty around, you have to move by the sides. There are many moves which have meanings like "Ko" which means eternal. The game can be applied into our lives, its a kind of methaphor.